Pain Pain Go Away

So it's Friday and I should be glad it's the end of the week..the weekend is here and we have fun stuff planned.  Instead after only a few hours of sleep I am awakened yet again by the monster I have lived with for half of my life. My husband knows the sign and he recognizes my breathing, the holding of my head again, me saying over and over that I can't do this anymore. I am 43 years old and was only 'diagnosed' as little as 6 years ago. An yet there is still no relief and no cute for these monsters. I'm not alone but yet only .1% of the population share in this pain. Thag number is so small and yet there are so many of us. And my daughter now knows the pain at the young age of 17. The mystery behind these is as unreal as the degree of pain we experience because of them.  Not to mention the exhaustion once they do finally break. 

People ask me can't you take a medicine for it...can't the doctor give you something stronger. The problem is nothing touches these. Some have committed suicide over the intensity and pain from them labkng them suicide headaches. As women are stricken by them we compare them to being worse than labor. I would agree with that. They take over your life and become the center of your being because the pain becomes you. It consumes you and devours you. 

I am a mother with responsibilities and a career and a life. My husband is worn out with not wanting to see me suffer anymore and frustration of there being no cure. Those closest to me know the pattern and those new to my life have to have it explained that if I don't talk to you without reason or I look like I'm 'bothered' by just your presence then the monster has come to visit again.  

So yes today is Friday but for now all I say is to make it to the next hour and have a break from the pain I have had for 5 days this time would be the best gift today...